When it comes to purchasing clothes you love, an important question to ask yourself is whether you’re shopping for your fantasy self or your real self.

Your fantasy self might be 25 pounds lighter or have a different body shape than you do. Your fantasy self might have a different job, a different lifestyle, or live in a different part of the country.

Some people have closets full of clothes for other selves and other lives (maybe even lives they once lived). Others know that their fantasy wardrobe isn't realistic, so they default to leggings and t-shirts. Both are usually unhappy with their clothes.

An unrealistic wardrobe can be a clue to larger life dissatisfaction, like realizing you’d be happier if you looked for a new job in Arizona already. But more often, I think it’s a misunderstanding. Building a realistic wardrobe doesn’t mean you’re giving up on your dreams for your life in the future.

Building a realistic wardrobe simply means practicing acceptance of where you are in this moment. It means giving yourself permission to shine where you are, and to celebrate your body and your style as it is right now.

In practical terms, ask yourself what really speaks to you about your fantasy wardrobe. How can you adjust aspects of it to better suit your life? If you really wish you could spend your life in ball gowns (to give an extravagant example), then spend some time thinking about how to bring some ball gown sparkle into your workable wardrobe. What about a taffeta blouse? A pussycat bow? Chandelier earrings? A glitzy shoe?

In the grand scheme of life, wearing clothes you love is an easy way to infuse daily life with joy. Your clothes should be working for you, not against you.